Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
