Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Randomize
