Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I think I sprained my soul last night
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
