So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize