found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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