It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
