3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
