Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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