So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
