never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
