everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
