Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I love you. Go after that dick
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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