i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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