I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
