Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
