Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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