So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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