pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
