Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
