Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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