I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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