did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
