my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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