I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
i need some magic done to my vagina
I am available for nakedness
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
