Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
