she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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