i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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