So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
