There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
