bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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