I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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