Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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