yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
