Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
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About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
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Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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