We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I did not marry a roomba.
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