That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
She announced her abortion via fbk
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Randomize
