Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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