I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
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Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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