I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize