The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
