Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
