2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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