The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
