What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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