But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize