I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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