It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
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