singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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