Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
My hand turned me down
I've blown a few things in my day
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
