it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
