I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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