I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
