you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
