would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Randomize
