We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
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