"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
