Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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