Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize