Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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