You're my little dorito
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
