maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
