Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
she told me i tasted like america
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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