who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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