I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
