If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
