remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Randomize